Overcoming Shyness to Overcome Loneliness

Almost everybody could say that one point in their life they have felt deep inside that they are shy.

We could once be the child who was asked to sing or dance who would simply retreat to their mothers and whisper, ‘I am shy.’

We could once be the teenager who passed on a chance to excel in class because he or she is shy to voice out her opinion.

We could be the adult who missed on making lots of friends or getting that very much deserved promotion because he or she would simply feel better to fade in the shadows than interact and be assertive.

Shyness is a big obstacle in the social capabilities of a person. It hinders him or her from realizing the potentials that can only be done in the social context.

Shyness actually varies from one person to another. To most people, this shyness is just a slight trouble, one that may happen intermittently. Yet to some, this is already the general rule that they are almost put out in action because of extreme shyness.

What Is Shyness?

Shyness could basically be a state where a person is constantly feeling uncomfortable and frightened around other people. This is due to the self-consciousness of the person, especially when interacting with other people, most especially strangers.

The feeling can range from mere awkwardness in facing other people to the extreme condition of feeling phobia. This could be due to different causes like fear of authority or strangers, low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence or avoidance of any responsibility.

This shyness could manifest in many ways in different people. It could be in the cognitive, behavioral and even physical levels. Let’s review what we have already learned - here are some of the common ways that indicate the shyness of a person:

1. Avoiding other people like superiors or stranger. This could also include avoidance of specific situations like talking in front of a crowd of listeners.

2. Trying to avoid the eyes of other people. This is due to the lack of self-confidence in the individual that he or she fears seeing other people who might size and judge him or her.

3. Shyness can also become more evident in certain mannerisms. Some people keep their hands folded no matter what they do. There are those who keep their heads bowed down low. They could also cling on to something like toys or bags, wherever they go.

4. There could also be very limited facial expressions and exchange of words with a shy person. This is one way to avoid a conversation, by keeping things as brief as possible.

5. Some speech problems may also be evident like slurring or stuttering. This happens very often to shy students who do not like to talk in front of the class.

Are Shy People Lonelier?

With the constant effort to avoid others, shy people often find themselves alone. They stay away from big social events or gatherings. They do not like to mingle with acquaintances. Thus, it is normal to think of them as lonelier.

Shyness also has an emotional level. Most shy people are aware of their shyness and their actions also have an effect to their affective aspects.

Loneliness is a very common emotion among shy people. Most everyone will feel lonely at least once in their lifetime. Shy people however are thought of as lonelier as they keep to themselves unlike others who can find refuge among peers.

This feeling of loneliness is attributed to the imposed isolation by the individual, that once a negative event happened, he or she only leaves the self solely to blame and run to.

How to Overcome this Loneliness?

The ‘lonelier’ state that shy people go through is not favorable. It has to be addressed as early as possible.

There are many ways to overcome shyness to overcome this loneliness. Most would resort to undergo treatment with physicians and experts to deal with the shyness problem.

It is best if the person concerned shall take the initiative to give the self a chance to change. One only has to start interacting with other people. Be friends with friendly people. This is a good start to rediscover the self and others.